Picture Perfect?

After seeing some of my friend's scrapbook pages for her daughter, I started to feel guilty. I have pictures all over the place, in so special order, just shoved in drawers, left on desks, piled high in cabinets. But, there is no special scrapbook or memento box. I did put some pictures in a photo album for my daughter. This covers about the first three months of her life -- nothing more. And, there's nothing for my son. Nada!

So, today, I decided to get a plan. I was going to organize, possibly get up enough gumption to plan to scrapbook some. The problem is that there are thousands of pictures (my mom loves to take them) many which are basically the same. And, don't scrapbooks only contain a few good shots organized in a beautiful creative way?

What to do, what to do? I, whom I consider very good at organizing, am at a loss. Do I pick the few good ones and throw out the rest? What about all the digital shots? Do they get printed and put in a scrapbook? And, when do I do all this organizing?

But, I feel like this needs to be done. What do I do one day? Give each of my kids a box full of loose pictures and say, "Here. Enjoy the memories if you can figure it all out." It just doesn't feel right. There are some precious moments captured that should be treasured. But, to find those shots among the million pictures of them laying on their changing table in different outfits seems like looking for a needle in the haystack.

I want to start being more choosy when taking pictures. I don't need 15 pictures of the same pose, in the same outfit. I don't know what to do. To throw so many out seems sacriligous somehow. But, it's out of control.

What have you all done in the face of this problem??

My Daughter's Therapy

Well, I joke a lot with people about what my kids will say to their therapist in 20 years about what I did to mess them up. It seems like it's always the mom's fault.

Today, I know for sure I gave my little girl something to go to therapy with. She asked me very nicely to play with her in her room while her brother was sleeping. As you know from a previous post, I don't much like to play. But, after my weekend away, I thought I had it in me to give my little one some undivided attention. Plus, she did ask nicely.

Anyway, I was Sleeping Beauty and my daughter was Snow White. My doll was sitting in a chair as my daughter was busy with her doll and looking for some props.

Next thing I know, I hear, "Mommy....."

Oh No!! I fell asleep. Isn't that horrible?! I dozed off while playing with my daughter. She seemed to take it well when I apologized. But, that's awful. I'm going to start saving for the therapy bills now!

It Rained And.......It Was Wonderful!!

My husband and I returned from our first weekend away without the kids. It was WONDERFUL!!!

We went to a beautiful bread and breakfast, recommended by my friend, Stephanie, in Southern Vermont. This B&B was set at the end of a country road surrounded by gardens and forests. It was breathtaking. Our room overlooked a frog pond, where we saw dozens of frogs (one of my favorites)! The food was unbelievable and we took full advantage of it. I'm full just thinking about it. We shopped at outlets, listened to a free Beatle cover band (not so good, but fun to listen to), went walking in the gardens (when it wasn't raining) and took lots of naps. I actually felt relaxed, something I can't remember feeling in awhile (not even this relaxed on my enchanted evening alone).

My husband and I were really able to reconnect. We talked and talked and talked (and not about the kids, well, mostly not about the kids) and kissed and kissed, and, you know. Neither of us was preoccupied with worry for the kids. Something I thought was impossible. But, we were isolated and we loved it.

It rained most of the time we were there. And, we didn't seem to mind. We ran huddled together under an umbrella from shop to shop. Yes, my husband shopped with me for hours. We had fun looking at the "junk" and the designer "junk." We even bought some junk. My husband was very generous this weekend, saying, "whatever you want, honey." Of course, he knows I'm cheaper than he is, so it's a pretty safe statement (and it gets him lots of browny points).

We read in our room, watched the rain from the windows and listened to it as it lulled us into afternoon naps. We had a gourmet dinner at the B&B which was heavenly. We splurged for a bottle of wine over $40 (yes, we're wild!) and we drank and laughed and ate. Then, we retired to the music room where my husband kicked my a^% in Rummy 500, something we used to play in our little tiny apartment when we first got married. I didn't let him win. We are both extremely competitive when it comes to playing each other, but he beat me fair and square. I blame the wine, having had too much to drink.

I was happy to see the kids when we got home. But, I felt more happy knowing that my husband and I still love being together after seven years and two kids. I admit I was a little worried about the seven-year itch hitting. But, while it isn't always obvious in the day to day life, we are still very happily married. It was the best find of the vacation!

I've Been Tagged!

My friend over at Forks And Chopsticks has tagged me. I guess I'm supposed to write seven things for each category. I'll try my best.

Things I Want To Do Before Dying

1. Feel really passionate about what I'm doing
2. Go on a world cruise
3. Dance at my kids' weddings
4. Hire a maid
5. Teach a college course
6. Put my kids' pictures in scrapbooks (or at least photo albums)
7. Do a stand-up act (?)
   

Things I Can Not Do

1. Sing -- the only one who likes to listen to me sing is my daughter
2. Draw -- it often looks like one of my kids' drawings
3. Dance -- I try, but I've got no rhythm
4. Clean -- again, I try (occassionally), and still it isn't clean
5. Spell - Thank God for spell check (when I remember to use it)
6. Be Patient -- my poor kids can atest to this
7. Iron -- or I just choose not to

Things I Can Do

1. Plan a good party
2. Be a loyal friend
3. Cook
4. Make my husband laugh
5. Be an advocate for kids
6. Organize anything (if I had the time)
7. Type
   

That Attracted Me To My Husband

• He made me laugh
• He was patient with me
• His smile
• Loyal
• Understood me and stayed with me anyway
• Family-oriented
• Made me feel safe

Things I Say Most Often

• I can't take this anymore
• AAGGHH!
• I hate this
• I love you
• I'm sorry
• I'm trying my best
• Please go to sleep

Books That I Love

• Any Harry Potter Book - that's six right there
• I really like Jodi Picoult books lately
• Gone With the Wind

Movies That I Love

• Grease
• Any Star Wars movie
• Analyze This
• Crash
• Princess Diaries
• Man in the Iron Mask
• Meet the Parents

Okay, I did it (sort of). Some are pretty lame, I know. It wasn't as easy as it looks. So, I gues I tag Another Mommy Moment, The Mom Squad, Mama Tulip, Babaloo, Of Socks and Men, A Day in the Life. Sorry ladies!

I Just Don't Want to Play

Warning: This post will be one of self-pity. Please don't lecture me on how lucky I am. I know. But, sometimes, I still feel sorry for myself.
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I just don't want to play anymore. I don't want to be the prince, I don't want to dress-up, I don't want to play Candyland one more time. I don't want to build, or color, or play with the play-doh. I don't want to do an obstacle course or get "ingredients" for soup. I don't want to play hide-and-seek.

I want to sit back and watch you play nicely with your brother. I don't want to negoitate between the two of you or break it up anymore. I want you to work it out. At what age does that happen?

I feel like a terrible mother having these feelings. But, I can't help it. I'm tired of doing what everyone else wants to do. I confided in a friend today who says she often feels the same way (Thanks!) I know parents say I'll miss this when the kids no longer want to play with me. I'm not so sure. Let's say I'm looking forward to finding out.

Now, I've got to do. Someone wants me to watch Sleeping Beauty RIGHT NOW!

I Leave My Kids To.....

Well, my husband and I having been talking about our wills since, well, my daughter was born (over 3.5 years ago). I feel very neglectful for not yet having a will. It's foolish and irresponsible. Nevertheless, it is one of the hardest tasks I think I've attempted (and that includes my dissertation, which took me much less time to write).

I think what has been the most difficult part of the will preparation is deciding who will get the kids, if, God forbid, both my husband and I pass together. How does one make this decision? There are so many factors to consider:

• who loves my kids?
• who will raise them as closely to how I would raise them?
• who is capable of raising them to maturity?
• who's feelings will I hurt with my decision?
• who will my kids feel most comfortable with?
• who will I feel most comfortable with (and, of course, my husband)?

We've weighed every factor, numerous times. You think it would be simple, my husband has three siblings. You must think one of them is the perfect choice. Not if you're sitting in my chair. I feel two of my husband's siblings are wonderful people, but they are related to my mil. I know she would have so much involvement in their life if one of them got my kids. And, that is not a positive thing. Plus, they would not include my family in anything. They barely speak to them now at the children's functions.

So, that leaves my mother and step-father (my father, with all his marital issues, is WAY out of the running). My kids LOVE my mother and step-father. I, of course, feel like they will do their best to raise the kids as I would see fit. They would include others in the raising of the kids (even if they would hate it). However, their getting up there. My step-father is in his mid-60s and my mom is heading close to 60. It would be difficult for them, physically, I think. I mean, they need to rest after a full day with the kids. I've discussed it with them and they, in no uncertain terms, want the kids.

So, they got them. I can't get myself to give my little ones to my in-laws. I have panic attacks (well, almost) just thinking about it. Of course, my brother-in-law and his wife (whom I love!) are our back-ups. But it comes down to one simple thing -- I cannot die!

Why Is Everybody Always Picking on Me?

Okay, I'm about to write a post where I feel sorry for myself. As a school psychologist, I know what I'm feeling is silly. But, as a mom, it doesn't seem to matter.

I feel like my kids are picking on me lately. I was going through a stretch where my daughter was really behaving. I was having a lot of fun with her and I felt like the long years of the terrible two's were coming to an end (my doctor once told me the terrible 2's were from 18 months to 4 years!)

Anyway, this wonderful behavior has disappeared in the last week or so. My daughter has been very whiney and demanding. I'll admit, we spoil our kids. While I am consistent when it comes to discipline (I take great pride in that), we pretty much spoil our kids. They often get to do what they want. Their grandparents buy them everything. I try to do fun things with them during the week while my husband is at work. I give them choices, I let them have some say.

So, when I'm trying to get my daughter ready to go to her friend's house, which she asked to go, she starts yelling at me. When I'm getting her ready to head to the local lake, she starts yelling at me. When we're leaving the lake, she's throwing the mother of all temper tantrums to the point a complete stranger turns to me and says, "God Bless You." Thank you, I could use a blessing.

Now, intellectually, I know she's testing limits, could be overtired, acting like a 3-year-old. But, emotionally, I feel like I'm doing the best that I can. Why isn't it good enough for her. What else can I possible do?

I call my mom. I want someone to reassure me that I'm a good mom. She tells me I'm doing a great job and she's seen my little one try to manipulate. I feel slightly relieved that I'm not imagining things. Then, my mom says I'm too nice to the kids. I give them too many choices. They have too much control.

I know she's right. But, I want my kids to feel like they have some control of their world since I often felt like I didn't. Of course, if I'm realistic, they are quite young. I have plenty of time to teach them that.

I just want to make everyone happy and when it doesn't work, I feel like I'm being picked on; that they're being mean to me for no reason. How do I stop taking it so personally?

An Enchanted Evening

Yesterday and last night I took advantage of my yearly Mother's Day gift that my husband has given me each year since my children have arrived. I get to spend one night at a hotel, by myself, where I can order room service, watch movies, or do nothing. Doesn't it sound heavenly???

It is. This year, my husband encouraged me to leave early (what a guy!) I went shopping. It's wonderful to poke around a bookstore without children in tow. Of course, I left there with four new books (all for the kids). I went on to do more shopping and took myself out to lunch. I arrived at the hotel around 2PM. I didn't leave my room until the next morning.

I read silly, tabloid magazines. I read my current novel, Best Friends. I watched a girl pay-per-view movie, Pride and Prejudice without having to listen to my husband complain. I took a bubble bath; I had a huge king-size bed all to myself. I ordered room service with a GIANT piece of carrot cake which I ate on the bed. The next morning, I ordered room service again -- delicious cinnamon swirl French toast. Around 10AM, I decided it was time to go home. I felt refreshed!

My husband was surprised to see me so early. He thought I wouldn't be back until after noon. He looked tired. He gave me a big hug and kiss and said, "I don't know how you do this everyday. And, the kids were pretty good." I think that was the best part of all. The appreciation!

Thank you to my wonderful hubby for my mini-vacation!

Jaws

My little angel son has taken up biting again. I thought that he had outgrown this awful behavior. It is much worse now (my daughter has bruises to prove it). I've tried time-out, vinegar in the mouth (which he liked!), taking things away .... I'm so frustrated. It seems to happen when he doesn't get his way. I try to monitor the warning signs and step-in before it happens, but it seems I don't have 100% radar. My poor daughter!!!

Any ideas, suggestions? HELP!

The Wild, Wild West

Well, the party was a success!!! It was a little touch-and-go when the ponies were almost one hour late, but everything turned out great.

First, the kids had hobby-horse races. While it didn't go as I pictured it, the kids seemed to have fun. We raced until everyone who participated won some gummy horses and horseshoe candies!

Then, we headed over to the sandbox for some panning for gold. This activity was much more popular than I expected. The little ones were excited to find the gold coins.

While waiting for the ponies to arrive, I broke out the water pistols. Now, that was something to watch. All the kids were good sports and really got into chasing each other around. My step-father got into the fun and the kids all ganged up on him! He was quite popular that day.

Finally, the ponies arrived and the real fun began. My son was so excited to see the "nay-nays" and he got right on without a fight. My daughter was right on his heels. Dressed as a little cowboy and cowgirl, my two little ones got into the action. And, again, all the kids behaved. I couldn't believe there were nine kids ages 6 and under and no one screamed and everyone took turns without complaining. We brought out carrots to feed the horses and I think the kids liked that as much as riding them.

The final activity was the pinata. Not sure it's the best activity for such a young crowd, but they gave it the old college (or should I say preschool) try. My son yelled yah! everytime he swung the bat at the horse pinata. My 6-year-old niece finally weakened the thing enough for us to break it open and set the goodies free!

The food was good and everyone seemed to have a good time! Happy Birthday, Chris!