Playdating

Well, I've started writing everyday, as I was encouraged to do by some of you (thanks, by the way). I've written some cute little anecdotes about the playdating world. I've really enjoyed doing it. So, even if nothing comes of it, I've got myself a new hobby.

What I was interested in was some of your ideas about playdating. I was going to post some questions and hope you all could give me some input. I thought your input may give me some ideas for a further direction for my writing.

1. Why do you schedule playdates?
2. What constitutes a good/successful playdate for you?
3. What constitutes a bad/unsuccesful playdate?
4. What do you look for in a potential playdate?

Thanks for any thoughts/ideas/input you can give.

To Write or Not to Write, That is the Question.....

I've been struggling lately with monotony. I love my kids and I love to watch them play and learn. That being said, 24/7/365 with nothing else to focus on is quite monotonous.

So, I've spent the last couple of months "exploring" different things for myself to do. Something I can get excited about, spend time doing, and be proud of. I've gone from blogging (which I do enjoy) to researching how to become an event planner (always had dreams of becoming a wedding planner) to starting a direct sales business by working with Noah's Ark Animal Workshops to writing a book.

I know what you're thinking, this woman has no focus. You're right! I'm 31 and I don't know what I want to do with my life. I have a doctorate in professional psychology which I'm not very interested in using. I've just never really been passionate about anything (except, of course, my kids). I skated through school after school after school. Am I lazy? Or am I just not focused?

My current interest is writing. I don't know if I can write. And part of me feels presumptious that I have something to say that people would be interested in hearing. I have a couple of ideas about funny things in a woman's life; for example, in-law issues (I do believe I have enough issues for several books!) and playdating (as I like to refer to it).

Right now, I'm leaning toward playdating as a topic for a humerous book for new parents (and possibly parents who would like to remember that sometimes difficult navigation of the playdating world). My girlfriend and I were talking about how playdating parallels the years of dating before we settled down. We were laughing so hard about stories and thoughts and feelings we have had trying to make playdates and maintain these new friendships. I have to believe there's an interest out there. I just don't know if I can pull it off.

There is a lot of self-doubt here. I feel foolish and keep asking my husband for some "stroking" of my confidence. I also called my dad. Both men had me getting excited about this new idea. More excited than I've been about anything recently. But, here I am, close to midnight, not sleeping, and questioning myself again.

Well, I'm off to try to sleep and hopefully this post helped me get some things off my chest so I can rest easier. Good night!

Trip Cut Short

Well, I'm back a day early from Boston. My two little ones got sick and we decided to come home yesterday. We had a rough Wednesday night. My daughter kept coughing and waking herself (and me) up. Plus, she was very congested. I tried to set her up on her own two pillows so her head would be raised. But, of course, she felt the need to share my pillow with me and spend the night coughing directly into my nose and mouth. So, it will be an act of God if I don't get sick myself. As for my son, he slept restlessly all night and woke up with a fever. I didn't want to infect my friend's kids any further and I didn't know if we needed to see a doctor today. But, everyone got up early this morning and seems better! While I'm happy as a mother that my kids are feeling better, I'm annoyed as a woman that I didn't get to spend more time with my friend.

We did get to go to the aquarium w/my friend and her two sons. The kids had a blast! They were so excited about all the fish and the giant sea turtle. My daughter told my husband she saw a sea turtle that as big as him.

Between me and my friend, we have four little ones. We had some fun watching them all play together. My daughter sometimes has trouble talking/playing with other kids. But, she did better than I thought she would. Of course, my friend's son is very nice and makes it easier for my daughter to feel comfortable. Soon she felt so comfortable, she started behaving like a stuck-up teenage girl. At one point, she asked him, "Do you want to play with me?" When he answered yes, my daughter proceeded to tell him she wasn't going to play with him and he should play by himself. That was when she would bother herself to actually talk to him. Lovely, right??

But, my little one was a hit pretending to be a monster and chasing all the kids around. There were lots of giggles and screeches.

Of course, as always, I had a great time catching up with my friend. Talking to her is so easy and I can say ANYTHING without worrying if it will change how she looks at me. Do you know how good that feels when the only people you usually have to talk to during the day are 3 and under?? Of course you do. My friend always makes me feel better about my kids and my parenting. She compliments me in a way that makes me believe her. Plus, I love watching her with her kids. She is so much fun with them.

If only we could have stayed one more day:<

Reconnection Weekend

My husband and I had our "date" this weekend. We had a great time. We did some shopping, went to lunch, and then to the movies. Capote was an excellent movie -- well acted and riveting.

My husband and I were able to talk -- some about the kids, some about other things. It was good. I didn't feel like strangers anymore. We agreed to both try to be nicer to each other and to spend time together after the kids go to bed each night instead of retreating into our own spaces and barely acknowledging each other. It's been working!

Yesterday, we took the kids to see Curious George. It was a very cute movie for the little ones. They really enjoyed it. It was fun watching the our kids together having a good time. We kept smiling at each other. It was just a nice time.

I'm off w/the kids to Boston for a few days to visit a friend. We always have a good time and it's fun to do something different w/the kids. I just keep trying to block out the drive up there by myself and the sleeping (My kids don't do well sleeping away from home). Plus, it'll give my husband a little break. That should benefit ME when I get home with the kids on Friday!! And, as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. (This worked last time I took the kids to Boston).

Dear Anonymous

Dear Anonymous (You know which one I mean),

I have noticed that you have left some rather judmental comments on my blog as well as some other mothers' blogs. I have some things I would like to say to you directly.

First of all, I believe as mothers, we all know that we are blessed beyond belief to have children. However, that does not make parenting easy. It is the most difficult thing I've done and sometimes it feels overwhelming. It helps to know there are other mothers out there who also love their families, but sometimes struggle. That doesn't make us bad mothers.

Second of all, I wonder why you are reading mothers' blogs if you don't want some support yourself. Or, do you just like to demean other people. The purpose of many of our blogs is to receive some level of support and/or comfort from others. It's not to explain ourselves to judgmental, intolerant people like you.

I must assume that you do not have children. Or, if you do, you must have constant help so you have to do very little on your own. Or, you would show some level of compassion to the rest of us. If I am mistaken, and you are a parent, I feel for your children. To have a parent who lacks sympathy and demands such perfection must be very difficult for them.

A Mother's Valentine's Day

I hope everyone had a nice Valentine's Day. My day went better than I thought it would. My kids behaved MOST of the day!! I guess it was their present to me.

As is our family tradition, my husband took us all to the diner for a Valentine's dinner. (We've been doing that since we started dating 11.5 years ago!) It actually is a very nice tradition -- It's not crowded and you don't feel rushed out of the place like you may at a "real" resturant on V-day. We then came home and frosted some Valentine's cupcakes with the kids. And, then, of course, ate them!! It was alot of fun.

For Valentine's Day, my husband bought me a toaster oven. A few years ago, I would have been devasted by such a gift. But, I have to tell you, I was very touched. He went out and bought the one I had been talking about for the last couple of weeks. (It's red and matches my new kitchen). I feel like it was quite a thoughtful gift. Don't worry, he also brought home some roses!

Have I have truly left romance for motherhood??? Lucky for me, my husband has combined the two!

Rollercoaster of Love

I know that relationships are supposed to have their ups and downs. I've been married to my husband for 6.5 years and we've been together for 11.5 years. We've had our ups and downs, but it always seemed like the downs were short and the ups long. Well, recently the downs have lasted and lasted and lasted. We communicate very well and talk about our feelings ALL the time. I'm sick of talking about it. I just want it to get better. This is the first time our "down" has included being mean to each other. We snap at each other about everything, we admit that we're nasty. But, we can't seem to stop. It's hard when we're both so short-tempered. And, I know it's not good for the kids.

I know that things will get better. It always does and I don't doubt our love for each other at all. I'm just exhausted from this fighting. And, I find that I have trouble coping w/other "little" stressors that shouldn't be a big deal when my husband and I are going through one of these times.

We have a Valentine's date scheduled for Saturday. Honestly, I'm a little nervous to go. I usually can't wait for our "dates," but I can't say I looking forward to this one. I don't have much to say right now. I think we're going to try to "force" conversation like on a bad first date.

Any suggestions for getting through yet another "down" in the rollercoaster of love??

Bad Mommy

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, my 3-year-old daughter goes to preschool from 12:30-3:00. And, during that time my 19-month-old son naps. Now, let me tell you, I live for these afternoons. Unlike a responsible parent, I lay on the couch, read or take a nap during this time. I've even told my husband, who dutifly calls me around 1:00 everyday to see how things are going, not to call on these days.

Well, today, my son woke up at 2:00 instead of me waking him up at 2:40 to go get his sister from school. Of course, he woke me up! I was not happy. I actually thought, "what about mommy? she's tired." I've been having trouble sleeping at night and one or the other of the kids has been up at least once during the night. I'm exhausted.

Anyway, instead of choosing to use this time to spend quality one-on-one time with my son, I got him a drink and put him in front of the TV until it was time to go pick up my daughter. I'm feeling terribly gulity. I tried to rationalize that I spend one-on-one time with him from6-7 AM when my daughter is still sleeping. But, what kind of mom am I to sacrifice quality time with my son when I get the chance?

Did I say that?

When my niece first started to talk several years back, she would come out with some doozies! My mother-in-law, who is her primary caretaker during the day, would say, "I don't know where she gets this stuff. It must be those Olsen girls in those shows." Now, first of all, do we believe a 2-3 year old is watching the Olsen sisters? That's weird in and of itself. But, I can picture my mother-in-law saying just these things which were repeated so eloquently by my niece:

"All I have to do is everything."
"Nobody cares about......" (in my nieces case, it was: my music or my movies).

Now that I have a pre-schooler, I hear myself repeated back to me. It's not so funny when it happens to you. (Okay, it's funny if no one else hears and shakes their head, thinking, you talk like that in front of your kids.)

Recently, my daughter has told me, my husband, or my son:

"Gimme a break."
"I can't take it anymore."

And, my personal favorite: "You're pissing me off."

Did I really say that to my kids???

100 Things About Me

I recently read a list on someone else's blog and it made me smile. I often feel like I'm not interesting, being a stay-at-home mom of two little ones. So, I thought I'd challenge myself to come up with 100 things about me.

1. I saw GREASE in the movies 8 times when it first came out (I must have been 5!)
2. I saw GREASE when it came out for its 20th anniversary (with my dad).
3. I always wanted to be a wedding planner.
4. I have my doctorate in school psychology.
5. My now husband let me pay for myself on our first date (I almost didn't accept a second date).
6. I never iron.
7. I buy anything I have a coupon for during triple coupon week at the grocery store.
8. I'm an only child (unless you count the two step-brothers I received when I turned 18).
9. My favorite kind of food is Italian.
10. I love the Yankees.
11. My husband & I took our, then, 2 1/2-year-old and 11 month old to Italy for my brother-in-law's wedding.
12. I didn't like Venice.
13. My best vacation was a Mediterrean cruise.
14. It drives me crazy when people are inconsistent.
15. The only book I actually read without using cliff notes in high school was Gone With the Wind.
16. I took a Harry Potter book with me on my honeymoon.
17. I only make my bed if I know my in-laws are coming over.
18. I rarely shave my legs in the winter (I do keep up with my armpits).
19. I didn't like mushrooms until about 2 years ago.
20. I took a plane ride over the Grand Canyon in those small little planes where they weigh you before you get on.
21. I learned how to play Craps when I was 8-years-old.
22. The first time I played Craps in Vegas, I threw the dice off the table.
23. I would like to take up horseback riding as a hobby again (I used to ride when I was younger).
24. My piano hasn't been tuned in over 20 years.
25. My favorite singer is Alanis Morisette.
26. I really enjoyed the Wiggles concert we went to last year.
27. I've been married for 6.5 years and been with my husband since I was 20.
28. I have two children, one boy and one girl.
29. I like giving presentations.
30. I don't like talking on the phone (although I did in high school & college).
31 . I didn't think college was the best time of my life (graduate school was).
32. I'm lactose intolerant (but only sometimes).
33. My in-laws held a family meeting 4 weeks before my wedding and didn't include me.
34. I voted for George W. Bush because he made me laugh during the debates with Al Gore.
35. I love cookies, especially white chocolate macadamia nut cookies.
36. I'm a closet Nora Roberts fan.
37. I rarely wear makeup.
38. I love to take naps.
39. I bite my nails.
40. Heinken is my beer of choice.
41. I threw up in my in-laws car after drinking too much at a family wedding when I was dating my husband.
42. I like to go to the movies by myself.
43. I want everyone to like me even if I hate them.
44. I saw Bon Jovi shooting an album cover in Seaside Heights when I was younger.
45. My first job was at the B&B department store working in the fitting room.
46. My mom & I sent anonymous "rude" greeting cards to a guy who broke up with me when I was in high school.
47. Watching Nanny 911 makes me feel like I do know what I'm doing.
48. I hate drinking tap water.
49. I love the new Coke Zero.
50. I eat even when I'm not hungry.
51. My favorite flower is the tulip.
52. I'm a Catholic struggling with not going to church.
53. I'm not a patient person.
54. It's hard for me to apologize to my husband.
55. I used to have a crush on Ethan Hawke.
56. I had a poster of John Travolta in my room when I was a kid.
57. I could eat peanut butter every day (Peter Pan peanut butter).
58. I fell on purpose skiing so my father wouldn't feel so bad that he kept falling.
59. I like to do Logic puzzles.
59. I can't do crossword puzzles.
60. I can't remember song titles even of songs I love.
61. I don't like chocolate ice cream.
62. I don't like the feel of grass on my ankles.
63. I like to dine al fresco.
64. I can't remember characters' names in a book I just finished reading.
65. I love to read.
66. I prefer college football over professional football.
67. I'm a terrible speller.
68. I hate to clean.
69. I like to throw birthday parties for my kids.
70. I'm not good at small talk.
71. I wish I could draw.
72. I am good at mechanical things.
73. I'm good at appearing busier than I really am.
74. I feel guilty alot.
75. I like to make people laugh.
76. I have trouble keeping my thoughts to myself.
77. I believe people should do what they say they will do.
78. I'm always early (even with two kids).
79. I hate waiting for people.
80. I like to plan in advance (not very spontaneous).
81. I like to be organized.
82. I wish I was better at decorating.
83. I can be jealous of other people's things.
84. I totally trust my husband.
85. I wanted my kids to have brown hair like me (they are both blond!).
86. My kids have brown eyes like me.
87. My husband is a foot taller than I am.
88. I wish I was 5' 4'' instead of 5' 1''.
89. I like to watch the superbowl for the commericals.
90. I'm very moody.
91. I'm very loyal.
92. I prefer dogs to cats.
93. I don't like fish, but I like shrimp, lobster, and clams.
94. I like ketchup & tomato sauce, but I don't like tomatos.
95. I saw Mike Tyson and Don King at the Indianapolis airport.
96. I saw George Carlin in concert and laughed so hard I almost fell off of my chair.
97. I think Ellen Degeneres is hilarious.
98. I used to love to watch Ally McBeal.
99. My wedding song was: I only Want to Be With You. (Vonda Shepherd's version from the Ally McBeal soundtrack!) 100. I love Elvis!

I did it!

Can I be this shallow?

Yesterday, my husband and I took the kids to see my brother-in-law's first house. Let me just say -- it's quite the fixer upper. I'm not sure why they would buy such a house. I think it's this crazy market and it's all they could afford. But, there are pee stains all over the floor which they are trying to get up w/vinegar. The walls are disgusting. I was a little afraid to walk up the stairs as they looked like they might fall down at any moment. There are no closets in the bedrooms. The house could be nice if you invested hundreds of thousands of dollars. There is no driveway!!! It's on a main street across from a gas station. I wish them the best, but REALLY.

What makes me wonder about myself is that I was in a better mood when I left there. My house isn't so bad. I felt like maybe I have it more together than I thought. Plus, it motivated me to do some things around the house I've been talking about forever (of course, I'm not sure my husband appreciated that part.) But, we started to get into it and I actually feel like I have something to do besides count the hours until the next day!

Does taking such pleasure out of my brother-in-laws run down house make me shallow???

How Embarrassing!

Well, my 3-year old daughter had a playdate today with her friend. Things were going well. I was able to spend some time working on creating a new BLOG with my friend and we thought things were going well. That was until we decided to go upstairs. Then, my daughter's playmate wanted to play in her room. Of course, my daughter refused this, shutting the door in her friend's face. I saw my nice afternoon talking with my friend while our daughters played coming to an end very quickly. I tried to reason with my daughter to invite her friend into play. Things just got worse and worse with both girls yelling. My poor friend had to leave with her daughter crying.

P.S. My son wouldn't take his nap either.

What age do the mom's get enjoy playdates? Aren't they just as much for us as for the kids?

People say don't wish away this time. But, I'm looking forward to when I'm not the total center of their lives. Won't it be nice for them to play with friends and not me for once?? Or, as they say, will I miss these times?? It's hard to imagine now.

To Start Over

Here I am starting my second blog where I can really be honest. No family members allowed!!!!